Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
2
Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
3
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
4
I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
5
At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!
6
Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing
7
Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!
8
I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
9
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
10
If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!
11
Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
12
Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
13
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!
14
Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
15
Don't think, it may sprain your brain!
16
Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they swing from them.
17
He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
18
He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
19
He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?
20
He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
21
He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
22
How come you're here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!
23
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
24
How much refund do you expect on your head now that it's empty?
25
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
26
I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
27
I know you were born silly, but why did you have a relapse?
28
I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
29
Do u practice being this ugly?
CONTRIBUTED BY NARENDRABHAI TANNA
LIE-DETECTOR
Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates. ‘About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'
Kumar said,'Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house,
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Kumar
Few days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita,
I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Moral of the Story:
Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian!
