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Newsletter |
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Issue
no: 35 |
9 March, 2009 |
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| MENTALLY MURDEROUS MESSY MEDICAL MISHAPS |
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She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce |
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Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant |
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The lab test indicated abnormal ‘lover’ function |
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The baby was delivered, the cord was clamped and cut, and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. |
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Examination of genitalia reveals that he is ‘circus sized’ |
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I saw your patient today, who is under our ‘car’ for physical therapy |
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Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year |
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While in the emergency room, she was examined, ‘X-rated’ and sent home. |
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The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches |
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Patient was alert and unresponsive |
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By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better |
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On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day, it had completely disappeared |
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The patient had been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983 |
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Discharge status: alive but without permission |
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Healthy-appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful |
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The patient refused an ‘autopsy’ |
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The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 44 pound weight gain in the past 3 days. |
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The patient had a rash over his ‘truck’ |
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